Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Some Letters...

 Dear Pumpkin Pie,

I love you.

Dear Costco,

Thank you for making very large pumpkin pies that take more than one sitting to devour. Now if you could do something about the calorie counts...

Dear people who have never given birth,

Please never suggest to your over-due pregnant friends that they just go get a shot of pitocin to speed things along. You have obviously never had that evil drug injected into your veins and dealt with the ramifications of such an act. If you had, you would never in a million years suggest such a tramatizing thing to your friend, especially in the name of impatiences to meet their child.

Dear choir music,

I wish you would stick in my head better.

Dear Shaw,

I wish you would tell me when you're going to move my channels in order to make more HD channels. I get that it needs to be done, but the PVR you sold me isn't smart enough to move the scheduled recording to the new channel. And then I miss an entire month of a show before I notice. And now I have no idea what is going on this season! But, uh, thanks for the employee discounts. Definitely not complaining about that!

Dear Fondant,

I'm coming for you...

Dear Mady and Kate,

Thank you for playing together. Now it would be great if you could learn to like different toys.

Dear Tailbone,

I know you're mad at me for sitting on you so long during yesterday's car ride. I don't think you understand the importance of "if the kids are sleeping you just keep driving." I promise I will make it up to you today by barely sitting on you at all.

Dear Bulk Barn,

No one actually likes Halloween candy so I think it would be perfectly appropriate to trade it all out for the Christmas stock this week.

Dear Christmas,

I'm excited that the season has officially started. Please send snow on November 1st so we can get to decorating in a timely manner. Until then, lets get to the Christmas shopping, shall we?


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