Monday, November 21, 2011

Rating The Christmas Lights

So remember how I love Christmas?? Well I also love silly little traditions that I have.

Look! A perfect 10!!

One of them is rating the Christmas lights when I'm out and about.  Yup that's right, I give them a judges score. It's a pretty simple formula. And it goes like this.

Displays are rated on a scale of 0-10. Everyone starts at 10 and for each infraction they lose a point. But then if there is someone next to them that is even worse, they can't both be 0, so you might get a bit of a curve grade and receive a higher mark. So the moral of the story, if you can't do it perfect, at least do it better than the neighbour.

Infractions include:
-Burned out bulbs
-Crooked lights (with command clips there is NO excuse for this)
-Weathered bulbs (how hard is it to take down lights???)
-Only one section is blinking when everything should be
-Crazy fast blinking patterns that are sure to cause seizures of those walking past. There is no need!
-Patterned lights not following the pattern (this happens when lights are replaced, how hard is it to replace blue with blue?)
-Lights that are draped from one location to the next that shouldn't be (say from the eaves to the window, or worse, right across a window! -take out those bulbs or get two strands!).
-Blow-up things. I hate them. How un-christmas like when they're sitting melted in the yard all day.
-Bad colour combos (I like green, but I hate all green. Yellow and red just doesn't feel festive. Orange halloween lights just look like you're lazy. White is always safe)
-Ill-placed icicle lights. They are supposed to mimic icicles. So therefore they should not be "growing" straight up from the fence. Or on the front wall of your house between your windows. They have to be hanging from something!
-Those sheets of lights meant for covering bushes that are used too sparingly so that only a big square in the front of the bush is covered, with bush pouring out all around. I know lights are expensive, but save up to get more lights, or don't put them out until you have enough.
-Just the bottoms of trees covered in lights. If you can't do it right, don't do it at all.

It's possible to get a 10 (and actually I dish out quite a few), less done well always gets more points than lots haphazardly.  And I give extra points for creativity!

And Mark always feels sorry for those that I grade low and will give them 10's, so at least it averages out.

 You might be wondering what sort of lights I put up. Well the truth is I don't. Why? Because I'm much too picky and would be annoyed at trying to get a perfect score. And I hate the cold. So I just enjoy those that do it right and have fun mocking those that don't (which is the only way I can enjoy them).

Do you have Christmas light pet-peeves?