Dear Businesses...

I'm a product researcher. I think it became a necessity when I had kids. Basically I don't want to waste money on crap products (or things that we will "out grow" before our time). I also don't want to drag my two kids around the city to 8 stores looking for a particular item and navigate all this around eating and nap times. So I use the internet a lot. In doing this, I get THOROUGHLY annoyed at bad company websites. I don't think they realize how much business they gain (or in most cases lose) because of their poorly constructed and maintained websites. I want to tell them all, but haven't come up with a way that isn't rude.

Here is the email (and variations) I write over and over in my head:

Dear Business,

Today I was looking at your website and found some ways that you might improve it to better help your customers get the product/services/information they're looking for and thus make you more money.

I was going to include them in this email, but I'm not sure that you'll actually get it since the contact information on your site is out of date. The address you list for your company is not where you are currently physically located, so I can't be sure that your electronic address is correct either, but hey, I'll give it a try.

I was looking for a particular product. But your company doesn't actually list the products you sell. Categories of items doesn't count. I want to know exactly what you carry in your store.

You list some of the products you sell, but not all of them. So even though I know I saw the item in your store last week, I can't find it (or even something similar) on your site in order to look closer at the product to know if it is what I'm looking for.

You list your products, but I have no way of seeing the price.

Or if it's in stock at a particular location.

You have spelling and grammar errors. Worse, you're an educational institute.

You don't tell me anything about your business. Like the helpful information that if I were to hire you, I'd like to know about you. If you're going to teach my kid something, I want to know what you stand for. I wouldn't mind seeing your face. There's nothing wrong with making it personal.

You don't tell me the price of your services/classes. "Call for prices" is annoying. I don't have time to sit on hold and you're never around. It also makes me wonder how competitive your prices actually are. If you're not willing to advertise them, I assume I'm getting ripped off. It's one thing if it's a request outside of the norm of what you do, but if you sell packages or classes that are all the same, there is no reason why you can't just list the prices.

You don't tell me the schedule of the classes that you offer. How do I know if my availability and your teaching times are in sync? Instead, I have to waste both of our time in order to find out that we're incompatible.

You use lingo from within your niche, but I have no idea what that means. So how do I know if that's the product/service I want? Please speak in plain English and when you need to, explain yourself.

Your page loads very slowly. If at all.

Your site is ugly. There's even free stuff available that can make it look much better than the plain brown background you picked.

Your font is so small I can't read it.

You have weird text/background colour combos.

Your pages are so cluttered with content that I can't actually find anything helpful. Worse, everything is listed on the front page when you could clean it up with some nice links to grouped information.

Your site is very hard to navigate and the information most people would need is buried too deep. Ever heard of quick links? If I'm looking at a class schedule, I want pricing information and the link to register right beside it. Even in the sidebar would be helpful.

If you offer a service, a portfolio of your actual work would be great. Don't tell me you do something well and then just show close-ups of smiling kid's faces (unless you're a dentist...). Show me what you look like in action with those kids.  Or the finished product you created.

Testimonies/reviews from other customers is also good.

Tell me what you do well, not what other companies/businesses do poorly. Otherwise I just assume you're jealous of their success.

I wonder how frequently people actually ask the questions you list in your FAQ because none of those came to mind for me, but 10 others that you didn't answer sure did.

Hey, you know that product description that the manufacture includes with the product? Put that on your site. Dimensions are helpful too.

You'll get extra points if I can place an item on hold or purchase it and then pick it up in store.

Please put your flyer on your site. If my 1 year old eats the flyer, I want to be able to find it quickly. And electronic versions save trees. Advertising sales is also good for business. I thought that was common sense.

You may think all this is too much work or too expensive, but here's the thing. The business that tells me the information I need to find quickly and easily will get my money time and time again. You may sell something cheaper, or do something better, I have no way of knowing that, so I will assume you don't.

Please include ways to contact you. Please don't just have a phone number or just an email address. Include both. And a mailing address. Sometimes I have different needs in terms of how I need to contact you than what you might assume. Please make it easy.

Please also list your hours of operation.

Sincerely,



 

Do you get annoyed at Websites? Did I miss any big no-no's that drive you nuts on company websites??

Meet My New Friend

I'd like to introduce you to someone:

This is my vacuum. I think we may become best friends.


As you'll notice, I didn't get a Dyson like I thought I would. Here's what happened.


We decided to go to Vacuum Specialists. If you're local and you ever need a vacuum, this is the place to go. They sell every vacuum that can be sold in Canada and they supply all the other stores as well as builders and other commercial people. You will get the best price through them. And they were wonderful. Very informative, not at all pushy.


I told Mark on the way there I was not going to name any brands when I walked in the door. I was going to tell them what kind of vacuuming needs I have and let them give me recommendations. He did show me a Dyson, but he also told me that he has carpet companies who send them warranty policies that name Dyson (along with some other brands) as carpet warranty voiders. Meaning if you use a Dyson (or these other brands) on their carpet, your warranty is no good. This is because of the brushes that are used in the beater head. They pull up the carpet, not just the dirt. Now I don't have nice carpet in my house, but some day I will probably replace it and when I do I don't want to buy a new vacuum, so...NEXT!


We ended up going with a Sebo. I love this vacuum. Can I gush for a just a minute?


Here are all the things I love about it:


First of all, it's powerful, it literally pulls you around the room. It's more powerful than 95% of the built-in units available.
It's also compact. I don't have tons of space for a monster of a vacuum, this one packs some punch. 
It allows you easy access for fixing it/unclogging etc. No tools required. Those Germans sure are smart when they design things. I can open this thing up everywhere I could ever need to with a flip of a button or a switch. It's fabulous.

(stair attachment which is air powered. So cool!)

The unit is small enough that it can sit on the stairs, but with the long hose, I don't think I will even need to do that.
All the tools except one (the stair tool that we purchased separately) are attached to the unit. That's kind of brilliant. More brilliant is that all but the duster attachment are flush with the unit (and it clips on the handle.

It does have bags (I thought I didn't want that, but now I'm more educated), but they are bigger and cheaper (so lower cost to run) than most other machines. Even the bag-less ones that just replace the bag cost with more expensive filters.
It swivels. Both at the handle and at the machine head the wand swivels so it gives it the glide capabilities that are the same as the Dyson ball. but less bulky. On the same token the wheels on the canister swivel 360º (or is it 180º? Whatever, all the way around in any direction) so the canister follows you in any direction you need to go. The hose also swivels at both ends so it doesn't get tangle up.
Oh and it's a super bendy hose.
The beater head goes right up to the wall so I don't have to pull out a crevice tool to do that part of my floor like I did with my old vacuum.
It has both a long hose and a long power cord (which is also very bendy so it doesn't get stuck places. I know you've all used stiff cords and know how annoying they are).  
Also long is the crevice tool. Whoever invented those teeny short ones obviously didn't have real cleaning needs.

(the crevice tool slides into this little cubby)

It's not super loud for it's suction. And it has adjustable speeds so I can both dust delicate pictures and art (if I had any real stuff) and get down to the nitty gritty tough floor jobs.

(one touch speed control. This will also turn the unit on/off)

I can use it on all floor surfaces and the non-carpet brush will polish my floors as I vacuum. Now I just need floors worth polishing.

(For my kitchen floor etc.)

(It slips onto the end of the unit so I can take it with me.)

The filter in it is hospital grade and will trap everything from dust, mites, spores, mold etc. etc. Basically if it can be in the air, get breathed in and cause you to get sick, it filters it out. I'm a fan. I'm looking forward to the amount of dusting I have to do to go down. We all know I'm not a fan of housework.
It even has a bumper pad around the canister so that it doesn't ding up my walls. 'Cause when I'm trying to work quickly I'm not always careful... :)
And there's something to be said when a guy who has worked in a vacuum store for 25 years has one in his house and has NEVER had a single return of this brand.


He's kind of pretty for such a work horse, too. Wouldn't you say?

I think he needs a name. Suggestions?

Dear America Part 2

Dear United States of America,

I would just like to thank you for responding to my plee with your recent decision to open up locations of Target in Canada. I hope you are able to work out that whole lawsuit thing about the name . Whatever you decide to do, please make sure the location near my house (there WILL be one near my house, right??) has an extra big "dollar spot." This seems to be a source of wonderful craft and party inspiration for my American friends and I would like to take part in the fun.

Further, if you would stock this Target with the following products, our friendship would be forever sealed.

-Nutter Butters (this one is becoming desperately important!)

-Candy Cane Hershey's Kisses (I have found a good alternative at Bulk Barn, but sadly they also refuse to open a location near me!)

-Milano Cookies

-Oreos with the coloured centres (<----that's how we spell Centers)

-Mini Nilla Wafers

-Actually mini of a lot of things. Assume if its mini and used for baking that we don't have it.

-Choco Tacos (I've never actually had these, but my favourite blogger talks about them ALL. THE. TIME. She's right about so many other things, so I can only assume these are good.)

-100,000 bars (again, never had them, but I have some cute ideas of what do to with them).

-All the different Girl Guide (Scout) cookies. We only get the sandwich "oreo" style ones, and sometimes the thin mints at Christmas.

I assume you're still working on store locations of the other establishments listed in my original letter and for that I thank you.

Also, I would offer to trade you Kinder Surprises, but I hear they get confiscated at the border, so you may have to settle for Bird's Custard Powder.

Sincerely,

What products do you load up on when visiting other countries?

Dear America

Dear United States of America,

Though I appreciate that you heard my cry for my White Tea and Ginger scented products from Bath and Body Works and sent a location near my home, there are a few other establishments that could really make their way up to the great white north with their sweet prices and merchandise. We're friendly up here. I promise! We'll send more Tim Horton's if that would help sweeten the deal. I could even throw in the ketchup potato chips, nanaimo bars and coffee crisp.

Here is my request list:

Chic-Fil-a
Joann's
Hobby Lobby
Kohls
Dollar Tree
Target
Sonic
In n Out
And all those cute kids clothing stores

Thank you in advance!
Melanna

Do you have favourite American stores you like to shop at (or drool at their ads, even if you've never been) that should be added to this list? I'm sure I didn't get them all.